I’m a f***in idiot…..

I can seriously say that this is the dumbest thing I have ever done and I’ve done some really dumb things in my lifetime. Mr C wanted to go camping in our van Hannah, reluctantly I agreed. “It will be great” he said “we will have so much fun, it’s going to be a glorious weekend.”

It lashed it down and we spent most of our time sat under this gazebo. Even Eric wasn’t impressed.This ine

So what else do you do when you’re camping and it’s lashing down with rain. If you’re Canadian,  you’d likely put on a waterproof and go hiking but no, Mr C had done a great job getting me to agree to go camping in the first place, there was absolutely no way I was going hiking in the rain when I had no where to dry off and  chill afterwards. In hindsight, we should have done exactly that though, maybe then, we wouldn’t have been so fuckin dumb……..

We were probably about half way through the box of wine (oh, don’t judge, it was lashing down, what else were we supposed to do) when Mr C first bought up the subject. It was a strategic move, he knows that after a few glasses of wine my inner Beyonce comes out of hibernation stretching her “we can do anything positive bullshit attitude.” The conversation went something like this:

Mr C: “babes we should do a racing the planet event”

Me: “what’s that?”

Mr C: “A race across the Atacama desert in Chile”

Doesn’t sound bad eh, in fact it sounds pretty awesome. We can go to Chile taste all the good wine and the food, maybe pop to Bolivia. We’ve never been to South America so we would be crossing off another continent (only one more to go after that (smug AF and don’t care)).

Me: “sounds fab babes let’s do it. Can you refill my glass.”

Mr C: “of course babes just completing our registration.”

And that was how I managed to get myself signed up for a 250 km multi-day ultra marathon through a fuckin desert. We leave next week with the race starting the following Saturday. Am I prepared? I get asked this all the time and no, I am shitting myself! This really is the dumbest thing I have ever agreed to do. Much dumber than starting a riot in the desert or strategically throwing up after day drinking tripple, tripple Baileys to keep up with the lads (remember that Pale & Interesting, when they wouldn’t let us leave camp until we paid our tab down the pub on adventure training?? Still think they were out of order for increasing the price of our drinks because it was after 5 pm).

Anyways, so yeah we’re are taking part in a Racing the Planet event at the end of September. Here’s a video of stage 1 of the race.

The good thing is, that I am doing this with Mr C, who has made me do lots of dumb things that I never would have done if it wasn’t for him. Such as, scuba diving in the terrifying ocean (my massive fear) becoming a certified Rescue Diver, reaching the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro (he dragged up the last part after I almost fell apart at the false summit) and snowboarding (well that was actually a fuckin disaster that saw me throw a  full on tantrum on a mountain) but you see where I’m going with this. I know it’s going to mad hard but how boring would it be if we were just going to an all inclusive to chill for a week in Hawaii (I am so booking our vacations next year).

So my lovely friends, as this is going to be mad hard will you please be so kind as to make a donation to one of our chosen charities. We have chosen two charities, one Canadian and one British. The Canadian one is the BC SPCA we wanted to support this charity because they support animals with their tag line being ‘speaking for animals’. As you all know Eric is our boy and we absolutely love him to pieces. Dogs are awesome, they teach us so much and give us their unconditional love and loyalty, yet some cretins treat them so badly, taking them into their homes welcoming them into the family only to discard them when it no longer suits. I have read numerous stories about dogs being found abandoned, waiting in the same place for days for their owners to come back. Fortunately, there are charities out there that give these dogs another chance at the life they deserve, such as the BC SPCA, who welcome any donations in order to keep this work up.

Click here to donate.

Eric
Thanks for your donation. Love Eric x

Our British charity is Veterans Aid. They are an amazing charity who assist veterans in crisis, regardless of time served. The reason we chose these guys is because simply, they provide assistance to Veterans who are in crisis with much of their work focused on providing homeless Veterans with shelter.

It’s hard to describe the camaraderie you experience when in the military, for me, I can honestly say that joining the Army saved me from a life that doesn’t bare thinking about. I remember the first day I put on my uniform and stood with my fellow recruits on the parade square. I looked like what we would call a ‘bag of shit,’ my uniform was not ironed very well, my boots did not shine and my feeble attempt of putting my crazy hair into a nice tidy bun under a hair net was pathetic. My Corporal shouted/screamed at me in a Welsh accent that I indeed did look like a “bag of shit” and proceeded to take the piss out of my accent, nicknaming me Shanahana ding dong. Despite all this, as I stood there listening to other recruits being told similar, this feeling went through me. It’s hard to describe but it was physical, it felt safe, like belonging, like I had finally found my home.

The first friend I made shared the same room as me, I think there was 8 bunks but can’t remember. We became friends after she plucked my eyebrows for the first time ever and I accidentally dropped a bottle of her perfume (I was devastated, I’d never had perfume before and saw it as a massive luxury). You’d think we wouldn’t become friends but we became the best of friends, which got me through basic training, the many jail visits and the first half of my military career!

Being in the military was like having a massive family, the years I spent in, saw me form my chosen family of  amazing supportive people. Even those that I am no longer in touch with played a part in who I am today and for that I will be forever grateful. Not everyone who leaves the military have the support needed to transition into a ‘civvy’ and without that support it is so tough. Veterans can find themselves struggling and in need of help, that’s where Veterans Aid comes in. In 2018, Veterans Aid homed 154 people, they need funds in order to continue the work they do.

Click here to donate

Me
Thanks for your donation. Love Shanahana Ding Dong

You will be able to follow us some how on this crazy race, I will post details once I know how that works.

Many thanks for any donations and have a fab weekend.

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Half-Marathon Etiquette

I ran in a half marathon race on Sunday (yeah yeah go me right, I am fuckin awesome). Like some of the other idiots there, I did zero training (It wasn’t just me right?!), which became evident after the 10 km point. So though I cannot give out any training advice or tips (except to say that, yes you should defo do some sort of training) I can sure let you know about race etiquette (which may or may not just be my opinion) so pin ya ears back.

When you sign up for a race they will ask you what time you intend to finish it in. This isn’t to pin you down and say you have to run the race in that time. They do this to split runners down into different start groups. If you are in a faster corral, especially if you’re running with Sue, Karen, Annie, Wanda and Pauline in squad form (also really irritating), you can get in the way of faster runners.  Tips on choosing the right corral.

If you have to slow down or stop, use your arms as signals and get to the side. It is perfectly fine to stop.  I guarantee the only person judging you for stopping is yourself. Unless you’re that twat who abruptly stops in the middle of the race path, don’t be that person. Imagine it, Kim is running behind you at her 100%, she is in her element and feeling fuckin awesome; you stop abruptly and boom, poor Kim is out of the race and yes, now everyone is judging you.

When there is shade, get in it. Yes, it’s lovely the sun is shining and it’s the perfect opportunity to work on ya tan. No it’s not knobhead. It’s the perfect opportunity for sun stroke and heat exhaustion.  Save the tanning for afterwards when you can chill on a patio, being that smug fucker telling all and sundry that you just ran a half-marathon.

Whenever water, electrolytes or snacks are offered, take them. You don’t want to be that dumb fuck who turns their noses up at electrolytes in the form of sports drinks, only to get severe calf cramps at the 19 mile point on a full marathon (yes I’ve completed one of those too.  See told you I was fuckin awesome. Okay I am dumb occasionally but who isn’t) and have to be dragged to the side by some old dude and walk the rest of the way.

Don’t throw water cups at the volunteers. I know what you’re thinking, as if you need to be told to not throw water cups at the volunteers. I saw it, with my very own eyes this Sunday when I ran a half-marathon (I am fuckin awesome), some c**t so obsessed with himself didn’t look to see where he was throwing his cup and it hit a volunteer and water went all over her.  Don’t be that person.

Thank the volunteers. Mr C and I have volunteered for one race, the Hypothermic Half which is held in various cities; we were at the one in Edmonton, Alberta. Besides the fuckers taking the piss because we pronounce water properly (we’re English knobhead, we made the language up) all the runners were so lovely thanking us for volunteering.  I made sure to thank all (okay a lot of) the volunteers on Sunday when I was running the half-marathon (I am fuckin awesome). I even thanked the Scientology lot who had set up a table. To be fair, they had the best, much needed snacks, bless them………………….

If you see a person with their hand held out for a high five or holding a sign saying “power up here.” Don’t be a miserable twat, give the weirdos their high fives and hit their signs. They could be taking part in the only way they can. At least they’re there cheering you on, when any normal person would be in bed at such a god awful (sorry) time on a Sunday morning.  Don’t be a judgey twat.

Don’t judge your fellow runners and assume you can run faster than them because you’re smaller or younger. I used to do this all time, look at a person and think I could easily beat them. It really doesn’t work like that.  It doesn’t matter if someone is older, bigger or wearing a banana suit, don’t compare yourself to others, everyone is running their own race.

Don’t judge yourself, another tough one. We set our goals and tear ourselves apart if we don’t reach them. Guess what, if you don’t run as fast as you wanted to or ran as far as you wanted to, you can train and do it again. That’s the best thing about running, if you keep at it you will for sure see improvement.

So they’re all my tips on race etiquette, hopefully it was a useful read!!!

 

 

 

 

I Raced a Boat!!

I really did, just this morning on my run and I won. The driver (no idea what you call a boat person) was giving it his all and the crows were cheering for me encouraging me to go faster. At least that is what was happening in my head! In reality I don’t think the boat driver even saw me and the crows, well lets be honest, they can’t cheer can they. But I did run this morning woop woop!

Mr C booked us a fab place for our celebratory dinner last night called Mission it was so yummy. We had the tasting menu with wine pairings which was optional (as if you would have dinner without wine) and we were not disappointed. It was the best meal out we’d had in a long time, it was the type of food that made you do that little appreciation dance in your chair (you know the one right, it’s not just me). There was five courses and we were full once we had finished though this did not stop us from throwing in a cheese board.

In addition to the amazing food and lovely atmosphere our server Rachelle was very knowledgeable about wine which makes sense as she is a Sommelier! I also liked that she didn’t laugh at me when I asked if the crackers made out of potato starch were made by boiling potatoes and using the potato water….so plausible.

In other news, Mr C had to pull poo out of Eric’s bum this morning apparently this was due to my hair getting everywhere. Just to clarify Eric is our dog!

Wine Head!

So today was a  massive fail for my running Mr C got offered a job yesterday which was a great excuse to go to the pub and celebrate, which we did. Unfortunetly it turned out to be one of those evenings were we forgot we are responsible adults and got totally carried away in the wine shop when we found a 1L bottle of wine. I knew we were on the way to drunksville by the fact that we didn’t realise or remember it was a 1L bottle until we got home and placed it next to the normal size bottle of wine we bought (just in case the 1L wasn’t enough for a Tuesday night)!! Making Mr C buy me the biggest bouquet of flowers en route home was also a good indicator of how we would be feeling this morning.

As one would expect we both woke up this morning with wine heads totally grateful that neither of us had jobs to go to! Mr C promised himself that he would do a make up run this afternoon but he’s currently sat opposite me looking at doggy rain coats (Eric isn’t a fan of getting his ears wet).

The day has been pretty unproductive though I did manage to accomplish the inspirational tasks laid out in my diary (day planner if you’re not British). Buy a Yellow Umbrella it said and being the diligent task orientated person I am (evidently) I ordered one woop woop. I must admit I was also inspired by the colourful lady yesterday and wanted to also be a splash of colour in the grey horizon of Vancouver.

Anyways, back on the running tomorrow, though we are going for a celebratory dinner tonight…………

It’s raining in Vancouver!!

So I feel like a fully fledged Vancouverite after getting up and going running in the lashing down rain this morning! You could tell I was new to the city as I was the idiot who was wearing a windproof thinking that was adequate protection.  I was so distracted by the fact that I now live in an amazing city that getting pissed wrapped did not bother me. I said hi to Elsie at Elsie Point, silently thanked the lady who was wearing a bright yellow mac and a pink umbrella for initiating a smile that I could not bury if I tried. The fave thing I saw on my run this morning though was for sure a couple, who I thought was a lot older than my youthful 38 running together; this literally gave me a warm fuzzy feeling and made the smile the splash of colour lady initiated into a big full on dumb cheek hurting grin and proper set me up for the day.

I went out running this morning despite the pouring rain and my minds protests (don’t be a dick, it’s lashing down) and saw so much beauty in the grey.

I must admit, I am now in the process of seeking out a good waterproof running jacket and contemplating asking the yellow mac lady if she wants to be friends!!!