Half-Marathon Etiquette

I ran in a half marathon race on Sunday (yeah yeah go me right, I am fuckin awesome). Like some of the other idiots there, I did zero training (It wasn’t just me right?!), which became evident after the 10 km point. So though I cannot give out any training advice or tips (except to say that, yes you should defo do some sort of training) I can sure let you know about race etiquette (which may or may not just be my opinion) so pin ya ears back.

When you sign up for a race they will ask you what time you intend to finish it in. This isn’t to pin you down and say you have to run the race in that time. They do this to split runners down into different start groups. If you are in a faster corral, especially if you’re running with Sue, Karen, Annie, Wanda and Pauline in squad form (also really irritating), you can get in the way of faster runners.  Tips on choosing the right corral.

If you have to slow down or stop, use your arms as signals and get to the side. It is perfectly fine to stop.  I guarantee the only person judging you for stopping is yourself. Unless you’re that twat who abruptly stops in the middle of the race path, don’t be that person. Imagine it, Kim is running behind you at her 100%, she is in her element and feeling fuckin awesome; you stop abruptly and boom, poor Kim is out of the race and yes, now everyone is judging you.

When there is shade, get in it. Yes, it’s lovely the sun is shining and it’s the perfect opportunity to work on ya tan. No it’s not knobhead. It’s the perfect opportunity for sun stroke and heat exhaustion.  Save the tanning for afterwards when you can chill on a patio, being that smug fucker telling all and sundry that you just ran a half-marathon.

Whenever water, electrolytes or snacks are offered, take them. You don’t want to be that dumb fuck who turns their noses up at electrolytes in the form of sports drinks, only to get severe calf cramps at the 19 mile point on a full marathon (yes I’ve completed one of those too.  See told you I was fuckin awesome. Okay I am dumb occasionally but who isn’t) and have to be dragged to the side by some old dude and walk the rest of the way.

Don’t throw water cups at the volunteers. I know what you’re thinking, as if you need to be told to not throw water cups at the volunteers. I saw it, with my very own eyes this Sunday when I ran a half-marathon (I am fuckin awesome), some c**t so obsessed with himself didn’t look to see where he was throwing his cup and it hit a volunteer and water went all over her.  Don’t be that person.

Thank the volunteers. Mr C and I have volunteered for one race, the Hypothermic Half which is held in various cities; we were at the one in Edmonton, Alberta. Besides the fuckers taking the piss because we pronounce water properly (we’re English knobhead, we made the language up) all the runners were so lovely thanking us for volunteering.  I made sure to thank all (okay a lot of) the volunteers on Sunday when I was running the half-marathon (I am fuckin awesome). I even thanked the Scientology lot who had set up a table. To be fair, they had the best, much needed snacks, bless them………………….

If you see a person with their hand held out for a high five or holding a sign saying “power up here.” Don’t be a miserable twat, give the weirdos their high fives and hit their signs. They could be taking part in the only way they can. At least they’re there cheering you on, when any normal person would be in bed at such a god awful (sorry) time on a Sunday morning.  Don’t be a judgey twat.

Don’t judge your fellow runners and assume you can run faster than them because you’re smaller or younger. I used to do this all time, look at a person and think I could easily beat them. It really doesn’t work like that.  It doesn’t matter if someone is older, bigger or wearing a banana suit, don’t compare yourself to others, everyone is running their own race.

Don’t judge yourself, another tough one. We set our goals and tear ourselves apart if we don’t reach them. Guess what, if you don’t run as fast as you wanted to or ran as far as you wanted to, you can train and do it again. That’s the best thing about running, if you keep at it you will for sure see improvement.

So they’re all my tips on race etiquette, hopefully it was a useful read!!!

 

 

 

 

This year I will mostly be mastering Pad Thai!

Well hello 2018 how excited are we all that you’re here! So just like a lot of people I’m all about “new year new me” and I’m pretty excited. 2017 was pretty awesome starting with a work promotion, a fun road trip in the middle and ending with us moving to the fabulous Vancouver.

So my new years resolution or 2018 goals for those who “don’t believe in new years resolutions” (insert eye roll) are:

#1 Master Pad Thai – the first time I ever went to a Thai restaurant was when I first met Mr C, and I got a right shitty on because you couldn’t get plain noodles Chow Mein style (these had become part of my staple diet, well actually I had them for dinner most nights with a big grease oozing spring roll). If you can imagine a scally (proper chav) sounding scouse-ish giving it pure attitude saying “whadya mean you don’t have chow mein” that was me. You can only imagine how Mr C felt though this wasn’t as bad as the time he took me to a seafood restaurant and my dinner came out with the head still intact but I digress.

After visiting Thailand and falling in love with this stunning country including the food Pad Thai became one of my fave things to eat. When I move to a new city I am always on a mission to seek out the best Pad Thai or even something that resembles the authentic version (you know not those Westernized ones covered in sauce).  When I lived in Edmonton my lovely work colleagues and I would visit Sawaddee in Sherwood Park at least once a week. The Pad Thai was so good that we always made sure we ordered the dinner size portion and not the lunch special portion. The service here was also excellent, they didn’t eye roll once when my work wife asked for extra peanuts every single time! I haven’t found my fave Pad Thai here in Vancouver yet so if anyone has any recommendations let me know.

I did have a first attempt on New years Eve at Pad Thai, I got the recipe from Nagi at Recipe Tin eats (side note Mr C thought he was hilarious when he said her name sounded like mine, he literally could not stop laughing at his own joke #dontbeatwatnath). This recipe was so yummy except we used the wrong noodles; Noodles are noodles right, no they are not you pair of tits. We ended up with a big pile of mush but even better Mr C did not shell the Prawns properly. Chewing on Prawn shell is not pleasant.

We did do a cooking class when we were in Thailand maybe I should just dig out the recipe book!

Cooking class Thailand
Enjoying the fab Thai food we cooked at Pum’s cooking school on Phi Phi Island

#2 Run a marathon – I have signed up for the Vancouver marathon in May and keep telling myself I have ages before I have to start training! This weekend I will be purchasing a lovely new running jacket and runners, it is sad I know but these things will help me to get out and started. I AM NOT MATERIALISTIC!!

#3 Visit Peru – Complete the Inca trail – Bore off with ya all inclusive holidays, why would anybody want to lounge around a pool being bought drinks all day. Sounds awful eh! We would much rather go exploring and risk becoming home to some random flesh eating bug and see the wondrous Machu Picchu.

#4 Drink less – Boooo I know boring right but Mr C and I have agreed zero drops of booze during the week. It will be interesting to see how much money we save!

I think that is enough to keep me busy.  I do also intend on getting a job in the next few weeks, I guess that should be a priority!

In other news, I have signed up for a fun looking dance workshop with RSVP 33 which a friend told me about. I just know once I’m there they will be so impressed when my inner Beyonce comes out and give me a job. That’s it, I will become an instructor woop woop. I just hope that my inner Beyonce can dance as well sober as she thinks she does when she is drunk!!