Friend or Frenemy?

“I bought 2 Amazon products for someone to talk to” this is a direct quote from one of my friends and it had me howling, even saying it back now is making me chuckle. Cheers bird. In what could easily have been a scene from a cheesy chick flick me and some girlfriends sat around a kitchen table drinking whatever was put in front of us, talking shit, whilst the men folk did their own thing. We were chatting about the different dynamics of friendships groups and how extroverts and introverts can live happily ever after in good healthy friendships.

Having good friends is important to me and I think most birds will agree (I know, some birds don’t enjoy having girlfriends because hanging out with guys means less drama etc etc) that sitting around with your girlfriends sinking a couple……okay a few bottles of wine (oh fuck off judgey, as if two bottle of wine between more than two women are going to make it past the hour) is the best type of therapy.

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Why is it though, that sometimes we invite people into our lives and rather than being a good, healthy friendship, it turns out to be toxic; you know the type the bitches who make you question yourself, who are always trying to one up you all the time or make you feel bad about yourself so they can feel better about themselves.  These bitches exist, I have met up with a few girlfriends over the past week and even literally just asked a bird at work and in the past, they all had one of these toxic friendships.

Erm, so if you’re reading this and thinking you hypocritical bitch; firstly, thanks for reading my blog, secondly, my Insta is open if you want to see all the fun things I am doing and thirdly, I’m sorry. Because here’s the thing, can we all honestly look in the mirror and say nope, I have never been that bitch, I am not good frenemy material. Well if you haven’t, bully for you, go and polish your twattin halo and pray for all us bitches who sometimes make the mistake of being a complete and utter c**t (oops sorry if that offends, it’s okay to not be a bitch, some people just aren’t capable of being c**ts).

In other news: I had a fabulous evening last night with my oldest Canadian friend (as in time served. Not that it’s like a prison sentence being my friend (fuck, am I actually one of those bitches?!), we went to Vij’s it was amazing. Not sure even where to start with this place; the food was awesome, the service fabulous and the setting on the patio perfect. The owner grafted the whole time we were there taking the time to chat with his guests, take pictures of tables and oblige the selfie requests.

This place is mad popular, if you don’t have a reservation turn up early. The lineup got big pretty fast. You won’t regret the wait though, the food literally makes you dance in your seat 🙂

You horrible bitch…….

Argh, I am so pissed off right now, I don’t often let anyone other than myself piss all over my day but as my lovely Welsh friends would say, “I’m tamping, raging, fuming.”

I am having a fab week, work has been productive, Tuesday was a day off, I received my tax refund yesterday (which went straight to pay for the desert race that I stupidly agreed to run/walk/crawl with Mr C ugh), we met our fab friends last night and had an awesome meal at Tableau Bistro and tomorrow night, we are meeting up with a load of British ex-pats for what is no doubt going to be a very messy night. So after work today I head to my Hip Hop dance class to perfect my moves to Hurricane Chris’s Halle Berry (tbh, I was shit at it, like proper shit but hey it was fun and that’s what counts right). Anyways, I finish and go to get the bus home feeling happy, famished and looking forward to whatever concoction Mr C was knocking up for dinner (okay let’s be clear about this, when I say “knocking up” that doesn’t mean Mr C is nailing (in case I need to also clear this up, when I say “nailing,” I mean fuckin, shaggin, making love etc etc) me dinner, “knocking up” is also a term for throwing something together. )

If you’re still with me after that last paragraph, first of all, well done, I read that back and got proper fuckin lost. Secondly, bear with me, I’m almost at why my blood is boiling a wee (small not urine) bit.

So, I gets on the bus and all is well (that’s not really true, all wasn’t well in the first place. Like a dumb twat, I’d forgotten me sunglasses and was getting right blinded by the sun), I’m excited to get home for me dinner and to watch our new Netflix show Safe and boom, some horror gets on me bus and totally fucks up my smug life is great vibe……..cheers love.

A family gets on, a Mum, Dad, a stroller (buggy), two little people and an even smaller one. Now, I imagine you think I’m going to start banging on about the little people and the even smaller one but no, something happened that might surprise you and for sure surprised me………………

Next stop, some older bird gets on the bus and she, is the horror who pissed all over my week. The family had their stroller in the spot where the fold up chairs are and though there was plenty of other seats this bird said loud enough for the whole bus to hear and sound like a complete bitch “can you move this so at least one person can sit down.” The family of course, shuffled the little people, even smaller one and the stroller to accommodate her request. I sit there all quiet, still being blinded by the bloody sun and thinking about me dinner. Well my inner warrior, decides that now is the time to tear herself from whatever slaying she is doing elsewhere and bless me with her presence.

The even smaller person starts kicking off and though their Dad is doing his best to calm it down, the older bird cannot hide her miserable judgey self. At first, she starts glancing up at the family disapprovingly but then she openly glares at them, starts shaking her head and starts tutting away and that’s, when my inner Warrior (Shelly) puts in an appearance.

Unfortunately Shelly didn’t have to much time to amuse herself with the miserable bird as the next stop was ours and as I mentioned before, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Mr C was knocking up for dinner. Obvs we wasn’t going to stay quiet though. I purposely walk to the front even though it wasn’t the closest exit and said to misery “what do you expect, it’s just a baby” to which she replies “mind your own business.” Now I know, the mature thing to do, would have been to shake my head in disappointment and hope that misery would reflect on her behaviour and realize she’s being a bitch. I didn’t do that. I smiled at the family, said thank you to the bus driver and called misery a “judgey cow” as I stepped off the bus.

Do you know what, I don’t even like kids, they make me itch and tbh I don’t care for anyone who can’t buy a round but this miserable woman proper got on my tits (not literally), was a horrible person and was obviously making the Mum and Dad feel uncomfortable and thought she was for some delusional reason, superior.  We taught her eh.

In other news: Mr C continues to hold onto a distinction on his MBA and though it’s not the same as my now amazing hip-hop dance skills, I do have to give credit where it’s due.

 

 

 

 

I Got The Job!!

Well after a few months of job hunting, I finally got a job and it’s an awesome one that I am so excited about!! No more reading job adverts amending my resume and writing covering letters trying to charm my way into hiring managers offices for an interview.

My hard work defo paid off, I received two job offers and had another in the pipeline that was pending references.  Sods law eh, I have been searching all this time and then get somewhere with three all at the same time, like bloody buses!

So my stats if anyone is interested:

Time frame – approx. 10 weeks

Job apps – shit loads

Interviews – 6

Offers – 2 actual 1 pending

The offer I accepted was the second one to come in which, I did feel a little bad about as I had to negotiate salary on the first offer and though they hadn’t come up to my salary expectations, they did come up. The second offer was the one that most excited me and with the company that I think will offer the opportunity to grow.

So my advice/ tips for anyone who is currently job hunting:

Get up and get dressed – like proper dressed! My friends (horrible pair of bitches) mocked me when I told them I got dressed each day like I was going to the office but it put me in the right frame of mind to sit at my computer and write formal letters. It also stopped me from feeling like a loser bumming around at home.

Stick to a routine – Job hunting sucks, I don’t need to tell you that, it’s fuckin awful, therefore it is easy to get hung-up on not having a job and having full on pity parties with just me, myself and I. A routine gives you some purpose (more than just cleaning the oven, which is genuinely one answer I gave Mr C when he asked me what I’d been doing all day. Don’t be a twat Nath) and also preps you for when you do start working again.

Career crash course.  I did lots of procrastinating whilst job hunting (so easily done) and signed up for a ‘Career Crash Course’ through a website called Udemy and it was actually the best thing I did. I ended up re-writing my whole resume and changing my approach to the job hunt, which was when the interviews actually started coming in.

LinkedIn – If you don’t have a LinkedIn account and you are job hunting get over there right now. LinkedIn is an amazing networking tool and I can tell you first hand that during my glorious recruitment days, I would spend hours on there looking for candidates that would meet my client’s needs. If you are not familiar with LinkedIn it is literally like Facebook for professionals without the attention grabbing hospital check-ins and irritating feeling awful, will PM you babes statuses (like seriously if you put on FB that you feel awful/ sad etc, of course people are going to comment and ask why so do us all a favor and put why you’re feeling shitty, unless you don’t want the world to know, in which case…………………call your Mam, Dad, BFF or the Padre, do not put it on FB).

Stay Positive – Yep, I am one of those positive the glass is always half full types.  I have often been called out on this “I’m not like you, I am realistic” but you know what jog on mate; being positive has found me  not only with an amazing life but with an amazing life in a city that is constantly voted one of the best cities in the world to live in. I acknowledge, it can be hard remaining positive when job hunting, especially when you have to keep a roof over your head and have bills to pay but if you focus on the fact that you don’t have a job and life is shit then guess what, that’s more of what you will get.

Refresh Skills – During my job search I had to do a good few computer tests so figured it was a good idea to refresh my computer skills, which again you can do through websites like Udemy. It also sounds good when you are at an interview that you are keeping any relevant skills fresh and up to date.

Job Applications –  Instead of doing 20 fire and forget job applications each day, find a good few that really jump out at you and do spend a good amount of time tailoring your resume to that specific description and write an attention grabbing cover letter. Go to the company’s website and see what their values are and say how they align to your own in your covering letter.

That’s all the advice I have on the hunt, I could write for hours about interviews and compensation negotiation but ‘Wine Wednesday’ starts in a few hours and I told Mr C that I had sorted our bedroom out (we are still in the midst of moving) which tbh I haven’t! I don’t start my new job until a week on Monday so I have shit loads of time right?!

In other news, (disclaimer: if you are Vegan or Vegetarian the following may cause offense) we had Duck wings for the first time last night and they were proper lush. I was going to cook but Mr C came home  listing the specials at Elwoods which sounded to good to miss! Yeah we are meant to be saving and not drinking throughout the week but half price wings and $4 beer and wine was to much of a temptation to keep us in. Go try them, they do specials every day and it’s a pretty cool place to hang out (no TVs yay).

 

 

 

This year I will mostly be mastering Pad Thai!

Well hello 2018 how excited are we all that you’re here! So just like a lot of people I’m all about “new year new me” and I’m pretty excited. 2017 was pretty awesome starting with a work promotion, a fun road trip in the middle and ending with us moving to the fabulous Vancouver.

So my new years resolution or 2018 goals for those who “don’t believe in new years resolutions” (insert eye roll) are:

#1 Master Pad Thai – the first time I ever went to a Thai restaurant was when I first met Mr C, and I got a right shitty on because you couldn’t get plain noodles Chow Mein style (these had become part of my staple diet, well actually I had them for dinner most nights with a big grease oozing spring roll). If you can imagine a scally (proper chav) sounding scouse-ish giving it pure attitude saying “whadya mean you don’t have chow mein” that was me. You can only imagine how Mr C felt though this wasn’t as bad as the time he took me to a seafood restaurant and my dinner came out with the head still intact but I digress.

After visiting Thailand and falling in love with this stunning country including the food Pad Thai became one of my fave things to eat. When I move to a new city I am always on a mission to seek out the best Pad Thai or even something that resembles the authentic version (you know not those Westernized ones covered in sauce).  When I lived in Edmonton my lovely work colleagues and I would visit Sawaddee in Sherwood Park at least once a week. The Pad Thai was so good that we always made sure we ordered the dinner size portion and not the lunch special portion. The service here was also excellent, they didn’t eye roll once when my work wife asked for extra peanuts every single time! I haven’t found my fave Pad Thai here in Vancouver yet so if anyone has any recommendations let me know.

I did have a first attempt on New years Eve at Pad Thai, I got the recipe from Nagi at Recipe Tin eats (side note Mr C thought he was hilarious when he said her name sounded like mine, he literally could not stop laughing at his own joke #dontbeatwatnath). This recipe was so yummy except we used the wrong noodles; Noodles are noodles right, no they are not you pair of tits. We ended up with a big pile of mush but even better Mr C did not shell the Prawns properly. Chewing on Prawn shell is not pleasant.

We did do a cooking class when we were in Thailand maybe I should just dig out the recipe book!

Cooking class Thailand
Enjoying the fab Thai food we cooked at Pum’s cooking school on Phi Phi Island

#2 Run a marathon – I have signed up for the Vancouver marathon in May and keep telling myself I have ages before I have to start training! This weekend I will be purchasing a lovely new running jacket and runners, it is sad I know but these things will help me to get out and started. I AM NOT MATERIALISTIC!!

#3 Visit Peru – Complete the Inca trail – Bore off with ya all inclusive holidays, why would anybody want to lounge around a pool being bought drinks all day. Sounds awful eh! We would much rather go exploring and risk becoming home to some random flesh eating bug and see the wondrous Machu Picchu.

#4 Drink less – Boooo I know boring right but Mr C and I have agreed zero drops of booze during the week. It will be interesting to see how much money we save!

I think that is enough to keep me busy.  I do also intend on getting a job in the next few weeks, I guess that should be a priority!

In other news, I have signed up for a fun looking dance workshop with RSVP 33 which a friend told me about. I just know once I’m there they will be so impressed when my inner Beyonce comes out and give me a job. That’s it, I will become an instructor woop woop. I just hope that my inner Beyonce can dance as well sober as she thinks she does when she is drunk!!

Bore Off With Ya Smashed Avocado Part 2

Just when you are fully recovered from the anger of ‘Smashed Avocado’ and you can smile at Millennials again, something happens that reignites the fury. Mr C and I were having a lovely afternoon, we’d had a good meeting with the Accountant (I know right, how very grown up) and was enjoying checking out Granville Island market. We’d had some fabulous Pad Thai, explored a wonderful wine shop and was fully emerged in the Christmas spirit.

Now one might ask what could possibly reignite Avocado fury whilst in the middle of such a blissful afternoon; did you look for a place to have a snack only to be faced with the delightful ‘smashed avo’ option, did you spot the bloody things on sale for “only $1.99” each?!!

Just going to leave this here……..

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Yep, an Avocado sock!!

 

 

Bore Off With Ya Smashed Avocado!!

We met up with some friends on Saturday afternoon and I chose for us to meet in an Irish pub downtown; they arrived excited as they had checked the menu and saw that they served fish & chips but also Pork scratchings woop woop! Excitedly they looked at the menu but then got confused as neither was listed. We asked the server thinking maybe it’s some secret need to know menu.

What followed next led to the title of this post. Did our server say “we’ve ran out or we don’t serve them on Saturday’? No, the response was “oh the menu changed just yesterday, we no longer serve Pork scratchings or fish and chips and we no longer have a fries menu.” “Okay, so what are you serving instead of fish & chips” we asked. “Gnocchi” was the response; yes you read that right, this Irish pub had replaced fish & chips with gnocchi wtf!

We could not believe it, what is going on with food places these days? Well that was it, we all went into overdrive, which is why we got onto the subject of Avocados. Our friends described how they went to six places looking for a decent breakfast but was met with a lot of menus offering ‘Smashed Avocado.’ Like what does that even mean, did you mix it in a bowl, throw the Avocados at the wall or smash them on the ground before throwing them on toast!

Shit got even more heated when mid rant one of us spotted a young chap getting out of his car wearing jeans that were evidently to short but worst of all…….he was wearing shoes with no socks, noooooooo arghhhhhh whyyyyyyyyy! As this confident looking Millennial with his great tan and floppy hair swaggered off he had sent us into overdrive. Needless to say when our server came over to ask if we would be ordering food, it was a resounding no!

It did get me wondering what the Baby Boomers thought of my generation, were they all like “bore off with poached eggs”!

In other news Eric was giving a clean bill of health this morning and was very happy that he didn’t have to get a thermometer stuck up his arse. He fully approves of his new Vet.

Anyways I’m off to Pinterest to find some recipes to use up the two ripe Avocados sitting on the side in my kitchen……..

Me & Eric

Eric being thankful.

I Raced a Boat!!

I really did, just this morning on my run and I won. The driver (no idea what you call a boat person) was giving it his all and the crows were cheering for me encouraging me to go faster. At least that is what was happening in my head! In reality I don’t think the boat driver even saw me and the crows, well lets be honest, they can’t cheer can they. But I did run this morning woop woop!

Mr C booked us a fab place for our celebratory dinner last night called Mission it was so yummy. We had the tasting menu with wine pairings which was optional (as if you would have dinner without wine) and we were not disappointed. It was the best meal out we’d had in a long time, it was the type of food that made you do that little appreciation dance in your chair (you know the one right, it’s not just me). There was five courses and we were full once we had finished though this did not stop us from throwing in a cheese board.

In addition to the amazing food and lovely atmosphere our server Rachelle was very knowledgeable about wine which makes sense as she is a Sommelier! I also liked that she didn’t laugh at me when I asked if the crackers made out of potato starch were made by boiling potatoes and using the potato water….so plausible.

In other news, Mr C had to pull poo out of Eric’s bum this morning apparently this was due to my hair getting everywhere. Just to clarify Eric is our dog!