Judgy Bitch Part 2

I know, can you believe I have another story about being a judgy bitch within a matter of days of the previous one (for anyone nodding their heads saying ‘nope not surprised at all’ fuck you)?! I was waiting at the bus stop (proper embracing being a bus stop wanker) minding my own business, thinking about the awesome curry I was going to make tonight and how all this shitty snow makes for a perfect weekend of nothingness. A homeless (totes assuming this cause well, he looked it) guy says “like your hat.” I obvs plastered a big smile on my face and replied “thanks mate” expecting him to keep on walking.

This guy grabs a piece of cardboard pulls out a pen and starts drawing me; he said that I was pretty and asked if I was a model. I laughed and told him that right there and then I was his model but no I am not a model! We had a good old chat about music, I told him that I loved country music and he said “country music is the only music you can make a steady income from.” I asked him why and he replied “because everyone likes to cry.” Now I kinda see where he was coming from though I get nothing but joy from one of my fave country songs right now It Ain’t My Fault.

So he gave me the drawing and I apologised as I didn’t have any cash and had no cigarettes that he asked for. I said to him “thank you, I feel terrible that you have given me something that made my day yet have nothing to give you.” He asked if I would go to the store across the road and buy him some pens to which I agreed. The store was Shopper Drug Mart (like Boots if you’re in the UK). We walked in and I thought here we go, he’s going to ask me to buy him some over the counter drugs. My opinion was justified when he said we needed to go upstairs where the pharmacy is; in my head I was debating whether I should actually buy him drugs or not (it’s fuckin freezing and what else would he do with his money).

Imagine what a c**t I felt when he took us to the stationery aisle where sure thing, there was marker pens. Even when out of pure guilt I said “mate get whatever you need” he picked up one pack of markers and was so thankful. We went to pay and I spoke to the server in the disdainful manner she showed my new friend (judgy bitch) who had way better manners than me! Outside we said goodbye and he went to shake my hand and though my inner voice was screaming at me not to, I gave him a hug (probably down to the two glasses of wine I had with lunch), like a proper hug that I give my lovely friends. He ran off not looking back once, yelling thanks. What a c**t!

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“Like Your Hat”

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