This is it, this is when my outstanding dancing skills finally get recognized. I wonder how long it would take to become an instructor? Feel like I’m going to Julliard; I am a dancer, nothing can stop me (oh look Nandos, didn’t know they had them in Vancouver). This is literally what was going on in my head when I got off the bus last night and walked to the Vancouver Dance Centre to start my 6 week Good Girl x Bad Girl dance workshop with RSVP 33.
I signed in and got in the elevator (lift for Brits) bursting with excitement. An older lady joined me and said she was also there for a class. I couldn’t imagine her shaking her booty but hey if that’s what she wanted to do, good for her. As we chatted it became apparent that she was actually here for ballet, I think we were both more at ease when we realised we wouldn’t be in the same class!
I got to the fourth floor and joined the excited group of women also waiting to release their inner Beyoncé. This is my dance crew, I thought, oh fabulous, I wonder who will end up being my BFF?!! One girl piped up “I went to the third floor by mistake and they were doing a ballet class, I watched for a few minutes. How do their bodies do that?!” I didn’t say anything but secretly thought I probably could with a little training.
The other class finished and it was our turn to go in let’s do this woop woop.
I instantly loved our instructor Kevin Fraser who gave us a run down saying “if you’re here to work out then work out, if you here to look cute and whip your hair, then you whip your hair!” Love it!
There was a cool bird helping Kevin out with his classes (she was becoming an instructor) she was v dancerish, even had her dance pants one up one down (what is that about?). We had a fab warm up and started getting into the dance mood with some chest out booty in and vice versa exercises. I was so excited, this is where I belong, at last!
We started dancing, it was part of a routine that looked easy enough, which I thought I could easily master. I was shite, like proper shite, my dreams of becoming a dance instructor flew out the window faster than a Concorde jet. I didn’t understand it, where the fuck is my inner Beyoncé, is she still on Christmas break, that bloody bitch!! I was uncoordinated, turned the wrong way and for the life of me could not get my arm to move in tune with my opposite leg…..disaster.
I did have the most fun though and was reassured watching others who were also struggling, well equally as shite as me (maybe they’ll be my new BFFs). There was also birds who picked it up straight away (smug bitches), bet their inner Beyoncé’s were right there for them.
Despite being shite, I loved the class, it was so much fun and everyone had a laugh. It’s not serious and you can do your own thing if you really want to. One girl asked Kevin “which way are you rolling your body” he showed us how he was rolling and then his assistant (the cool dancer bird) said “if the other way works for you just go that way.” Kevin shouted “options, you all have options.” This really is the general attitude, the main thing is that you have fun and I did, so much so that I am now looking to sign up for another class!! I only hope that my inner Beyoncé saw my pitiful performance and is back in time for my girls only birthday night out!
In other news, if my terrible dancing wasn’t enough to drive me into hibernation, I have also pledged to join Toastmasters. In some study conducted somewhere, it was found that people are more scared of public speaking than death. There is even a name for this fear Glossophobia. I was telling the wife how I was one of them people who hated it and how I literally go to pieces. She told me about Toastmasters and encouraged me to join, I didn’t of course, why would I put myself through that shit?!! But, new year, new me and I have decided to conquer this fear. I start Monday, will keep you posted!